the waiter's monologue

"hey guys, how are you today? anyone? okay. can i start you off with some beverages while you're looking at the menus? yeah? no, we don't have sam adams. no. we don't have any sam adams at all. miller lite? no - we have coors light and bud light. bud light, okay. for you, ma'am? hot tea? no - sorry, we have iced tea, but that's it for tea. just water? okay. and for you, sir? water with a lemon. oh, you want a lemon too? sure guys, i'll be right back with your drinks. let me know if there's anything else we don't have that i can't get for you."